The Order of the Royal Fizzbin
“The basic Laws of Science working against us” or in vernacular parlance the
“seemingly spiteful behaviour manifested by inanimate objects, where objects that cause problems (like lost keys or a runaway bouncy ball) are said to exhibit a high degree of malice towards humans.”
Fizzbin is a fictional card game created by Kirk in the Original Series episode “A Piece of the Action”. While being held hostage on Sigma Iota II with Spock and McCoy, he spontaneously invented a confusing card game to distract the henchmen guarding them.
The rules were intentionally complex. The top hand is a ‘royal fizzbin’, consisting of a king, a two, a jack, a six, two queens and two aces during the day, and a queen, a four, an ace, an eight, two kings and two jacks at night. However, the odds against getting one are c 1022 to 1.
The recipient of the Order of the Royal Fizzbin is awarded the accolade of the “Supernova”
Eligibility: Crew Members on board the USS Glenn Miller
A few crew members submitted evidence in support of the ‘basic Laws of Science working against us”
- M Hartley and his vengeful desk
- FO – for talking to much and forgetting to put the cup under the coffee machine resulting in a flood of hot water all over the kitchen top
- FO – for inadvertently spraying the wrong product on her hair.
- Miss Ada – For receiving 6 points on her ‘provisional’ driving licence and a caution for ‘driving her stair lift without due care and attention’.
The stair lift had been fitted only 3 days before she ‘ram-raided’ it onto the door handle causing several hundred pounds worth of damage, pulling the door off its hinges and breaking all the welds on the seat of her chair. The collision was that severe that it also broke the drive chain (we were picking little metal teeth up for weeks after). The Stanna man was here for six hours attempting to unwedge the door and the chair …. he said he’d ‘ne’or seed owt like’.. and took lots of pictures to show his colleague.
Miss Ada was very sheepish and promised faithfully to look where she was driving in the future.
Just to clarify “Miss Ada” does not have a driving licence as she has never got round to learning how to drive… dad did try having a go at teaching her one time… but she put the car into a ditch on the deserted airfield .. Dad was not too impressed
ATTENTION TO ORDERS!
I am delighted to announce that the Order of the Royal Fizzbin has been awarded by popular crew majority to Miss Ada for receiving 6 points on her ‘provisional’ driving licence and a caution for ‘driving her stair lift without due care and attention’.
A winner most worthy of the accolade “Supernova.”
Congratulations and very well done (I think)!
Captain John Hardy – Commanding Officer
USS Glenn Miller